Anyway

I wasn't a great Mother today. Today I was upset with my 5 year old for not knowing how to do math, I was irritated with one of my 2 year olds because she undressed herself for the third time, I was aggravated with my other 2 year old because she wouldn't go to sleep and lay down when she was suppose to. Today I spent more time arguing with my children, than enjoying them. Today, I failed.

Some days I'm really proud of my parenting, in fact, most days. I read articles about kids who were given drugs and brought out to the woods to be burned, and about parents who forget their kids in the car, and here I am, bashing just about everything I did today. My kids were fed, properly cared for, given hugs and kisses, played with, and still I feel guilty. I yelled when a ball was thrown and knocked down the mirror, I yelled louder when the same ball was thrown and knocked down our clock, and I yelled again when I went to their room and found them awake for the hundredth time I've been in there trying to get them to sleep. I scolded the kids for running in the house, fighting, throwing things, not eating their food, throwing said food on the floor, yelling in the house, slamming doors, getting into things they weren't suppose to, and whining about every. single. thing.

Every day is not like this. Not every day is this difficult. Most the time when these days are difficult, they aren't doing anything out of the ordinary, they are being 5 and 2 year olds, they are doing what they do best. It's really not them, it's me. I was anxious about everything today, exhausted, nauseous, irritated, frustrated, and completely not myself. Although I will say, they usually listen better too. I'm beginning to think that when we have these days where we clash heads all day, it's all of us having a hard day at the same time.

We all can't be perfect every day. I can't be incredibly patient, understanding, relaxed and carefree every day. Life isn't perfect, and neither am I. So today I yelled, I argued, I was frustrated, but I fed them anyway, I played with them anyway, I changed them anyway, and I loved them anyway. Lets just try again tomorrow, shall we?