The Fourth Child

As many of you already know, we are expecting our fourth child. We tried for only a few months before we got pregnant. Actively trying to conceive a child was a whole new experience for me. As my other pregnancies were "accidental." I never saw myself with 4 children. It wasn't in the plan. I wanted 3 children, 3 years apart, 2 girls and 1 boy. This was all suppose to happen after my nursing degree. My plans were laughed at when my second pregnancy was twin girls. And now, here we are, carrying the child that will be just under 3 years younger than our twins. Number 4.

My Mom had a friend when I was growing up that I can easily say had a hand in raising me. She was there for my family during many of our rough patches, and for that, I will be forever grateful. She had 4 children. I loved being at her house. There was always something going on, always fun to be had, and always a lot of kids around. No, they weren't rich, and didn't always have the biggest house, but she always decorated it beautifully and made it home. The amount of love, excitement and joy in their home made me never want to leave.

I hope someday to be that house. The house that all of the children gather at to have fun because there's just so much excitement. I want my home to be chaos. I want to always have something going on and be surrounded by my children and their friends. I want to hear the echos of children laughing all through my house for as long as I can. No, we aren't rich, and I do plan on finishing my degree in order to make sure my kids can go to college, but I know my children will never go without. They never have. They have closets full of clothes, food in their bellies, and the largest amount of toys I've ever seen any kid have. Our kids have what they need not because we are "well off," but because we sacrifice anything and everything we have to in order to give them the life and things they deserve. We've been doing this for 3 children, why not 4? I'd be lying if I said that the thought of having 4 kids never overwhelmed me, but it brings more joy than panic, more love than sorrow, and more calm than chaos. I'm so ready to complete our family, to sit on our couch with our 4 kids and look over and smile at my husband in complete and utter content. I'm ready.